My thoughts ...

... are with a woman that I have never met. My thoughts are with a woman whose face I would not recognize if we passed each other on the street. My thoughts are with a woman who is halfway around the world. My thoughts are with a woman that I hardly know anything about. My thoughts are with a woman, who, two years ago gave birth to a little girl. My thoughts are with my daughter's birth mother.

It is April 17th in Korea -- the day our daughter came into the world. On this day two years ago, this brave woman made a decision - a decision that was so selfless. She knew that she could not adequately care for her precious little girl, and she wanted only the best for her. I am humbled and feel incredibly blessed to be M's Mommy.

Today has been an emotional day for me. I found myself looking out the window ... wondering if she was thinking about her daughter. Wondering if she cries when she thinks back to the day of her daughter's birth. Did she hold her? Did she kiss her? Did she whisper anything into her ear? There are so many unanswered questions. I'm sure she wonders what her little girl looks like - I'm sure she wonders if she is healthy - I'm sure she wonders where she is at. I would give ANYTHING to tell her that her daughter is a happy and healthy little girl. I'd love to tell her that she has two brother's who think the world of her. Two brother's who think little M makes the world go 'round. I'd love to tell her how much she is loved and treasured, and how incredibly thankful we are to HER.

... but I can't - and that's what makes this day (and every day) so hard for me. Adoption is wonderful, but it is incredibly tough at the same time. There are so many emotions - and learning how to deal with the emotions is something that continues to be a work in progress for me.

As I go to sleep tonight, my thoughts and prayers will be with my daughter's first Mom in Korea. I pray that her heart is healing, and that she has found peace.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Yoon Jeong. We love you.